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Sure, everyone likes to receive a compliment from you. But why not make it a double-whammy for them? Give them ... 1) The GRAPEVINE COMPLIMENT Do not bestow a compliment directly upon the receiver. Choose one of their friends to be the "carrier pigeon." Here's an example: You tell Darlene (who is Diana's best friend) that you think that Diana is a dynamic woman. Rest assured that Diana will hear of your admiration before the sun sets. It has traveled straight to her heart through the most reliable information highway in history — the grapevine! And the beauty of it is that she can't accuse you of being a flatterer — because you didn't compliment her. You told her friend! 2) The HEARSAY COMPLIMENT. This one thrills the recipient. Suppose Jill says something complimentary to you about Jack. Run, do not walk, to Jack and say, "You know, Jack, the other day Jill said ... whatever." Now Jack feels doubly good because both you and Jill know he's a great 'ol guy. OK OK, just one more — the IMPLIED COMPLIMENT. This one is very subtle. You don't compliment. You merely imply the listener's magnificent qualities. Try saying something like this to them, "Well, Paul, a person as perceptive as you ... etc." Or, "Susan, someone as slender as you ... etc." I fell for it once when a man about my age said, "Leil, you're much too young to remember this, but ..." I was deaf to the rest of his sentence because I was so delighted with his mistake. Er, I mean, implied compliment. |
